by
Janyne
 |
Dear Frances
Recently I experienced a few months of fear and hate that I had forgotten existed. During this time I shared my fear and confusion with several friends. One of these people was my Minister. After this all had passed, and I told her about it's passing she asked me to write an article for the church newsletter. The following is the article as it will appear in "Heart Lines," the newsletter for The Center For Creative And Conscious Living (a United Church of Religious Science). This will also be published in "Alpha-Bits" in October.
--- Janyne
Why am I surprised when it works? I have known it works for some time now but when the power of directed prayer is clearly visible it still is a bit of a shock to my system. A shock I gladly accept and look forward to. But still there is that little part of me that says, "Wow, it really worked!"
Several years ago I came to terms with being transgendered. If you don't know me or don't know what transgendered means, I will give you a brief lesson. I am a genetic male who is blessed with a feminine spirit, and I choose to honor that spirit in dress and manner. In short, I live most of my life as a woman. In doing that I know that I am expressing the joy and beauty of my gift from GOD. For the last several years I have lived in this manner and have enjoyed a level of acceptance that is almost unbelievable even to me.
I live in a mostly quiet Long Beach neighborhood, a little crowded but friendly and filled with the voices of children of many races and cultures playing together free from the prejudices and fear they may learn as they get older. Next to my home is an apartment building. The type of building referred to, here in Long Beach, as a "cracker box unit". It has all the faults that these units have: too many people, not enough parking, too much turn over and not enough room for the children to play. But in spite of these drawbacks, the people that live there do the best they can and for the most part remain up beat hard working friendly folks. I have lived in my place for just over two years now and have blended into my neighborhood. I come and go freely and am accepted by the shop keepers and residents.
But to this world of peace and tolerance there recently came a dose of fear and prejudice that I had come close to forgetting existed. A family moved into the apartment building next to me, and within a week or two of their arrival my life was threatened, my car was vandalized and my mail box was filled with garbage and vile substances. My first reaction was fear. I went to the police and explained the circumstances to them. They were unable to and seemed unwilling to help. I called my lawyer and was advised to move. On two separate occasions the husband and father in this family threatened to beat me up and then to kill me. The wife and mother verbally assaulted me at every chance she got.
Their children took up the call and would stand outside my door and shout vile threats and curses. They took to following me and I genuinely feared for my safety. I attempted to talk to these people but it was to no avail. The best effort I achieved was that the husband took a swing at me. I was able to step out of his reach and miss out on the experience of street fighting in front of my own house. These people in a short period of time had brought me back to a place of doubt and low self worth that I thought was forever gone.
With no where to look I called Reverend Betsy Elliot, just to talk and to hear a friendly voice. In the next few days I spoke with many friendly voices, Reverend Diane, Rose Genterman and several of my friends at our church. Betsy and I treated for understanding and clarity, Diane and Rose treated for me and helped me stay clear. I attempted to see these neighbors in the light of God. Prayer went out for me and my neighbors. I continued to walk my path, to live my life as whatever example of spirit that I am.
Then the children seemed to get used to me, they learned my name and said hello when they saw me. They asked intelligent questions and we shared conversations. One day a boy came to my door and apologized for putting spoiled fruit in my mail box. Then one afternoon the woman in this family said hello, and we had a small conversation. About a week later we met on the street. She stopped me and asked if she could speak with me. I said of course, we talked about easy things for a few minutes, my dress, my car and my approaching wedding. I then asked her what had caused her change of heart about me. She said, "If you never spoke to me again, I would understand. I am so sorry for the way I treated you. You are a good neighbor and a nice person. You never did anything to us and you are so brave and quiet as you just go about your business." She went on to tell me she had talked to the women where she works about me, and they said to her, "Have you ever given this person a chance? Have you gotten to know her, to see what she is like?" And of course she hadn't, yet. We talked for a little more. I was able to tell her a small amount about me and learn a little about her. The father still doesn't speak to me, but he does give a small nod or wave in response to my smile and hello.
There are several explanations for the change these folks went through: they just got used to me, they were afraid of a law suit, they saw that I wasn't going to change just for them, or whatever. But I know what it was. Prayer Treatment, the power of God doing good in this mostly quiet Long Beach Neighborhood.
When we deal with fear in any form be it prejudice, anger or hate, and that fear in turn puts us in our own fear state, go back to the source, God. With the help of your Minister, Practitioner and friends that share your spiritual path, treat and pray and hold Love in your heart. Love is the only answer to fear. With Love you can continue your path, be the real you and know that you are safe in a world surrounded by God. And don't be surprised when it works.
