"My Revelation"

by

Sheryl Lynn

After reading your article in Transgender Forum about religion (Nov 97), I felt impressed by the Lord to share with you an excerpt from my second coming -out, (No pun intended. Last year I tried to return to the male role.)

I am a transgenderist living as a woman full-time. I was involved for three years in a gospel quartet. I tried to drive away my feelings of being a woman, but to no avail. On November 1, 1997, I had a hairpiece bonded on. (I have a receding hairline.) That same evening I dressed in feminine clothing and went to the local mall to see a movie. I was accepted so well as a woman that it did wonders for my self-esteem, which has been almost zero for my entire life.

I attended my church the next day and sang in the choir. I got some looks but only a few said anything, as I was dressed in male attire. The following Monday, at about eleven PM, I received a call from the organizer of the quartet. She asked me to come over on Tuesday and let her cut the hairpiece into a more masculine cut. We were going to sing for the Gideon Society's dinner the following Friday, and she said I would not be allowed, if I looked feminine. I almost agreed on the spot, but I told her I would call the next day and let her know my decision.

I could not get to sleep after that, and I had a very tearful night, searching my soul and trying to make a decision. After a lot of discussion between me and my wife, The Lord Jesus revealed the following, which I put in my letter to family and friends:

"The Lord has shown me that, because I was so afraid of being rejected, I had been unable to hear from Him. When I began to confess these fears to Him last night, He told me, by being born in a male body, He had made it possible for me to be adopted and raised by Godly parents. )My adoptive parents possibly would not have adopted me had I been born female, as they wanted a boy and told me so numerous times.) He told me that, as a man, I was able to raise three wonderful children and see them become adults….. He further revealed that now, by living as the female I am inside, His further purpose can be fulfilled. He has yet to reveal to me fully what that purpose may be, but I do know that , as a Christian, may task is "to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction…" (James 1:27).

I was miserable in my role as a man. Perhaps, too many Christians are busy trying to find the wrong, and if they were more sensitive to God's Spirit leading, they would be able to recognize those who are hurting inside. I believe that God's love is an unconditional love and reaches out to all in distress. Although I may be an idealist, the true Christian has the kind of love that, when they don't understand why things are the way they are, they will seek God before making a judgement.