by
Kathy Randall
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I chose "The Olive Garden" as the title of this column because it is the place where Jesus met with his disciples. His followers perceived the garden as a place of safety and solitude. They often met there with Christ for private teachings. The name of this particular garden is traditionally known as "Gethsemane." However, as you may know, this is also the place where Judas betrayed Jesus. One evening, while Jesus met with his followers, Judas arrived to the garden a little late. With him was a garrison of heavily armed Roman soldiers intent on arresting Jesus. We read in the story that Jesus knew this was going to happen. He could have chosen any venue for this disturbing event to take place. However, he chose this place of solitude and safety to become the place of betrayal.
I find this fascinating. Just like Jesus, those places we consider familiar and safe can also become places of danger. It is not necessarily safe to follow our Lord. If we honestly seek after the truth, we may put at risk those places, and those ideas, with which we feel most comfortable.
This column will often deal with ideas that we take for granted. The comfortable conventions we've grown up with, and take as truth, may be the result of social default rather than a conscious decision on our parts. The journey of the transgendered believer has always been one of risk. Risk of discovery, risk of expulsion, risk of inner turmoil, and risk of betrayal from without and within.
Jesus' teachings were, and still are, radical and extreme. I hope to explore some of his, and Paul's teachings, to help shed light on our transgendered issues.
A little about me.
For years I sought release from my feelings of being female. I sought God repeatedly for deliverance from my transgendered nature. Finally, after four decades of lamenting my fate, I was delivered when God told me I would never change. This is not what I was praying for, but it was God's answer. God wanted me to be who I was. He had always accepted me, and now it was my challenge to try and accept myself.
The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians about a problem, similar to mine in intensity, which he referred to as "a thorn in the flesh." Paul had struggled with his condition for a long time. He does not reveal what that condition was, but it is obvious from the text that it was not trivial. Paul had fervently prayed repeatedly for release, and was confused at God's lack of response. Finally, God told Paul to stop praying and accept himself as he was. God told him that His grace would be sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12)
At first I thought that Paul would have been upset. After all, the Bible states that if you make a request to God in faith, God will grant it to you. (Matthew 7:7) Experience, however, has taught me that when God appears not to answer my prayers, it is not because he is unconcerned, unreal, or mean, but it is because my limited perspective does not see the entire picture. I am standing down below, while God's vantage point is much higher. Understanding God's answers, or lack thereof, depends on understanding the love and the mind of God. This concept becomes clearer as we continue reading in Matthew 7 this declaration, "…what man among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or, if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he?" (Matthew 7:9-10)
We can take comfort in the fact that God gives us good gifts, not bad. If you think that God is giving you the short end of the stick, perhaps your perspective needs adjusting. This scripture in Matthew could also have read, "Would God give you a stone rather than a loaf of bread, even if you asked for it? Would God give you a snake if you asked for it?" Next time the Lord appears not to answer your prayer, perhaps it is because in God's opinion you were actually asking for a snake? What sort of a father would he be if he said yes to a request like that?
I think perhaps Paul was relieved that God chose not to grant his request -- I know I'm glad God said no to mine! I think Paul took comfort in God's grace -- I know that I certainly have!
