"From Resignation to Rebirth"

by

Rachel Miller

In my last article I described a ministry proposal that I made to my Pastor in April. It was designed to help people develop a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. An underlying principle was that relationships must be based on truth not outward pretenses.

In May my Pastor began a series of sermons focused on a return to basic Christianity. He poked at the comfortable congregation urging them to go where God leads them and become contagious ministers of the Gospel. One mid-June Sunday his sermon was such a direct parallel to what I had proposed that I felt as though he was asking for Mulch Pile volunteers. Yet, he had not responded to my proposal. I wrote him this note:

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"I have felt a spiritual kinship with you ever since I found this church nearly two years ago. Your talks to the Inquirers' Class, weekly sermons and books all have spoken to my heart. They have encouraged me to believe that you understood the issues that I am trying to address. Your most recent series on radical Christianity is particularly close to my views and yesterday's sermon on being a witness seemed incredibly aligned with my proposal for a Mulch Pile Ministry.

"Yet for all this apparent alignment of purpose, something is obviously missing since you haven't responded to my proposal, a copy of which is attached. Please help me to understand! Could we meet to discuss this issue?"

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No response! A month later I phoned my Pastor. He wasn't in the office so I left a message asking him to please call to discuss the situation. Again, no response! After a month it became painfully obvious that my proposal was being stonewalled in the finest corporate/political tradition. So in late August I exercised the only reasonable option and submitted my resignation:

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"It is with a sense of loss and regret that I resign my membership in ______ _____ ____________. The loss is attributable to no longer benefiting from your consistently practical spiritual teaching coupled with ______'s incredibly inspirational music program. I will miss them both greatly. The regret stems from being unable to engage in a meaningful dialog to convince you of the merits of my ministry proposals.

"When I first told you about my cross-dressing, you invited me into the church without condemnation. I thought you understood the issues I raised and had empathy for the situation. Your teaching helped me to crystallize my ideas of a ministry. I thought we were on much the same track as you spoke repeatedly about a return to basic Christianity. Yet, my proposal to you has received no response.

"I can only conclude that while you are acutely aware of the spiritual malaise of the membership and want to change it, the risks are high. If you make the congregation too uncomfortable, they might toss you out along with radical Christians like myself. Sadly, by not confronting these ingrained attitudes, the resultant situation is a direct parallel of the military policy of "don't ask, don't tell" related to gays and lesbians. I can be a member as long as I blend in and don't make waves. So, the hypocrisy of the church that so angered Jesus 2000 years ago, remains alive and well in today's church.

"These past two years have made my path forward very clear:

* I must use my position as a cross-dresser who loves and follows Jesus to openly confront the un-loving, un-accepting and un-Christlike attitude of the church.

* I must affiliate with an open and affirming church where God's concern for the internal state of our hearts still supersedes the external worldly concerns embraced by other organizations.

* I must link my ministry with the mission of my church home.

"Perhaps in a small way I can help to redeliver the true good news of the Gospel - unconditional love and acceptance for all of us from the Creator of all of us."

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I have been painfully aware of the "Christian Fort" type of church for some time. In this type of church the congregation hides inside and takes pot shots at the sins of passers-by. Members of the congregation never seem to recognize the seriousness of their own sins and are far removed from the intent of the Gospel.

During this current experience I discovered something new about churches. There is also a "Christian Comfort Club" type of church. It is typically filled with like-minded people who appear outwardly nice and have everything together. But their exterior appearance masks a wealth of hidden issues and problems that are never discussed. I found them to be just as far removed from the truth of the Gospel as the fort type. They need to be visited by a serious dose of afflicting the comfortable before they can learn to comfort the afflicted.

Shame on both types of churches!

In an effort to condemn me, I've had "What Would Jesus Do" pushed in my cross-dressing face countless times, but let's try a few new renditions of that theme:

* What Would Jesus Do - About the self-righteous Christian Fort apporach? He'd refer them to Matthew 23!

* What Would Jesus Do - About the comfy church mentality? He'd refer them to the Church at Laodicea in Revelations!

Whatever happened to the good news of the Gospel? Where is the unconditional love? The empathy? Grace? The Gospel is filled with admonitions against judging others yet many never tire of pointing out the sins of others. The Gospel is filled with commands to love each other yet the story of the Good Samaritan doesn't seem to apply to people who are different.

Everyone has faults, problems and sins - BUT - the church of today has far bigger and more fundamental problems and they aren't being addressed. When will the church absorb the message of the Gospels and put it into practice?

I can no longer be silent or defensive or tentative in the face of the church's lack of acceptance. My resignation from one church has led to a rebirth into a new life. That new life will include a more direct confrontation of the problems inherent in our churches with the goal of encouraging a restoration of the true Good News.

I challenge you to read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. What do you think is the Good News message? Instead of telling others how they should change, ask yourself how that message should impact the way you deal with your faith? Your daily life? People who are different from yourself?