Barb meets Francine
September 11th 2004 was a day that will go on as the single most important day of my life. My wife Barb had decided to join Francine and attend a private party for the trans community hosted by one of my best friends Heelen. It came as a complete shock to me.
Just several weeks earlier I had made plans to go to the Erie Gala in November and she was a nervous wreck trying to figure out what to tell our children where and why I would be gone for the weekend during the Gala. Many times we discussed how my trip was to take place and what excuse we would use to appease the curiosity of our grown boys.
The excuse was obvious, one, which would be terrifying to Barb, to just go along and join me at the Gala. Barb had never seen Francine. She was always skeptical that seeing Francine would overshadow the image of the man she married 27 years ago. This thought held her back as she had doubt about the future of us as a happily married couple.
As the summer had slowed down Francine was due to get out on the town again. Barb had mentioned that I needed to take time for Francine and get out of the house. This came as sort of a shock and I stated as much to her. She mentioned that she understood how much Francine was a part of me and to go out and have a good time. So I made plans to attend a private party at Heelens place and to visit the Queen of Hearts the following Friday.
I called Heelen a few days prior to her party and asked if there was anything I could bring and she stated only my wife. Heelen said that several of the other girls were bringing their wives also. I told Heelen that I did not think Barb was up to going along and she was too apprehensive.
After calling I had mentioned to Barb that I had planned to attend both functions in September and she was fine with that. A couple of days later she asked what she was going to tell my son where I would be as he would be home from school and also a wedding reception was scheduled the same night that I could not miss.
I could tell by the tone of wife's voice that she was on edge and very nervous about this. I could tell that something was in the wind! She kind of hinted around that she might be willing to go to the party and join me if it was Ok. I said she was more than welcome and would be well accepted by all of us at the party. All right, she stated, I'll go along but I want to see the transformation of Francine at each step of the way.
This is when the realization of what she just said hit me. My wife was going to make the giant leap to see Francine. I was suddenly terrified at the idea. I was scared to death to expose Francine to her but I knew I had to do it. We both were facing a very huge fear, one that could lead to very harsh consequences on our marriage good or bad. I was not looking forward to the negative thoughts that seemed to haunt me.
The day of the party arrived and I tried to ignore the nervous tension within me. I worked all day on my car just to keep busy. Eventually it was time to attend the wedding reception followed by the debut of Francine to Barb and onto the party 45 minutes away. The reception seemed to drag on, as did dinner. I was so nervous that I cold not eat much. I drank a few beers and had a couple glasses of wine to calm my nerves.
Finally it was time to leave and get ready for Heelens party. Upon arrival to make the transformation to Francine I just went into autopilot doing the makeup and explaining each step of the way. I told her as I held out the mascara that this was always the best part of getting ready. I soon donned my wig and Barb was at ease with all of it so far while I was waiting for some bomb to go off. It never did as I asked for some privacy to get dressed. I was sort of embarrassed of dressing in front of my wife. Imagine this after 27 years of marriage. I made my way out of the bathroom dressed in my white beaded dress and she said I looked nice. I took the compliment and we then headed out the door.
As I drove I could feel the sweat building up under my dress. For some strange reason the thought of my wife sitting beside me dressed as a woman had me terrified. The idea of it all was very strange. I was getting hotter as I drove.
When we arrived I parked and we both made our way to the party. I knocked and we both went in to see some familiar faces right away. I immediately introduced my wife to everyone and she was received very well. She kind of stood beside me and held my hand only to acknowledge that my hand seemed to be on fire. I was scared to death for the second time just like the very first time I went out as Francine.
About thirty minutes later I calmed down and we had our picture taken downstairs as a couple and one that will remain very close to my heart. Eventually my wife blended into the crowd and talked the night away with many of the girls. Before we knew it the time was 1:00AM and was time to leave.
As we drove home I thanked her for coming and if she was skeptical of seeing Francine. She said no and all of her fears were gone. She also said had a deeper appreciation for the folks in our community. She went on and on as I drove as to how much fun she had at the party.
The following day I asked her about the party and if she had any reservations about it or Francine. No she said, in fact I want to go to the Queen of Hearts with you on this coming Friday. She said she wants to get prepared to attend the Erie Gala with me. It will be the end of the story telling to our children and the beginning to the rest of our lives with both of me.
Though out the past few years many speculated and told me this day would come. I was a doubting Thomas. I never dreamed that my wife could be so loving or understanding. I guess it just goes to show that hard work and perseverance never goes unrewarded.
True to her word Barb also attended friday night clubbing at the Queen of Hearts in Warren Ohio. This time getting ready and dressing was not such an embarrasing event. When we arrived at the club things were off to a slow start but as my wife was introduced to all of the girls there she really got into it. I soon found myself chatting with new found friends and Barb chatting away with many of her own new friends. She danced the night away and had a great time.
I have always tried to understand the term unconditional love. It is something I have always tried to figure out until now. I understand unconditional love now. It is something my wife has given me and one thing I will never try to undo. We two are now one for sure.
God life is good!