I'm NOT Suffering!

As much as I hate labels for people in any form, I REALLY don't like the term "gender dysphoria". Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines "dysphoria" as: "a state of feeling unwell or unhappy." One of the synonyms for dysphoria is despair. Well, folks, I'm here to say that that just ain't me, and it ain't most of the folks I know! I don't think my gender causes me to be unhappy or unwell. If you must put a label on this condition, how about "gender mismatch" or "gender inconsistency" or "gender incongruity", since gender in our case isn't in line with our sex. If the desire is to maintain the same initials as "gender dysphoria", how about "gender deviation" or "gender discrepancy" or "gender divergence"? Those "d" terms when coupled with the word "gender" more accurately depict our lives than "dysphoria", I think. My preference is still just "human", though, because all of those gender terms still subdivide us out as a minority. That means we are typically not treated as well as the majority.

Regardless of what it's called, I sure as hell don't "suffer" from the condition - another phrase I've heard. The fact that my physical sex and my mental/emotional gender are not in congruence has caused confusion and problems in my life and some pain, too, but so have a lot of things. It's LIFE, and it's filled with problems! Because I don't particularly line up with the rest of humanity in the aspect of my gender does not mean that I should be treated as if I were suffering simply because I'm different. Drinking alcohol can cause confusion, but that doesn't imply that humans are alcohol dysphoric. My poor hearing has caused problems in my life, but I don't think that means that I suffer from auditory dysphoria. My bad knee and my bad shoulder have caused me pain in my life, but I wouldn't say that I suffer from major joint dysphoria. I sometimes suffer from my hearing and my knee and my shoulder (and numerous other things) but all of those things still work fairly well and more often than not, I enjoy having them - as opposed to being without them. Likewise, while my gender is a rather fluid thing, I'm very glad I have it - whatever it is.

My therapist (yes, I go to one!) said that lately I look happier than I ever have, but that I also seem to be projecting more of a masculine persona. Since I'm not dressing or consciously acting any differently today than I was two months or four months ago, that observation may have been due to my hair. For several months I was wearing my hair down as it grew out, but recently I've been just been pulling it back into a ponytail, which is a more masculine look for longer hair. Alternatively, it may be due to the fact that I AM happy. And I'm confident and I'm assured that my life is on the right, albeit a somewhat bumpy, track. Those are traits that do not cause most folks, including me, to be submissive, shy or retiring: traits associated much more with femininity than masculinity. So, if I seem to be more masculine to someone else because I'm getting more comfortable with my femininity, then long live the dichotomy. The important thing is that I'm satisfied with my life. And because I am, in the end I don't really care what you call me - I'm just not particularly fond of certain terms.