The Dream Dress

By Josie Sydney

“You know” I said to my therapist, “You will probably think this is way over the edge, but ever since I saw my first wedding I have always wanted to be a bride.I love the gowns, the veils, garters, everything about dressing up. I even had a second business as a Wedding Photographer, this let me be privy to the Bride as she completed dressing and prepared for her big event. Each time I admired her dress and wished that it could be me all dressed up even if only for a just few minutes. I’d really love to have my picture made in a Wedding Gown. ”“That’s not so strange” she said, ”Why don’t you do it?” Yeah, I thought picturing myself all dressed up in white, why don’t I do it?

Thus began my adventure to have my picture made in a Wedding Dress. First I had to find a dress, not just any dress, but that one special dress. My first thoughts were of a costume shop where I had done some computer work. The owner and employees knew me as both as Joe and Josie and fully accepted me. I confided my secret desire to them and waited for the laughs, they never came, and they were totally enthusiastic about the idea. Beverly, the owner suggested a dress they had for a rental, but the other women said no that the dress was worn out and not good enough and encouraged me to shop for a special one. I did not need very much persuasion. Nervously I started shopping for a dress.

My first stop was the Internet, I did a search on Wedding Dresses and I must have viewed a hundred dresses and I was no closer to my dress than I was before I started so I changed my searches to “weddings” and found several sites. The best of them was http://www.theknot.com they have a “Gown Finder” where I put in my price range and style and it showed me gowns that matched my criteria. I found several that I liked and recorded the information as to the style number, designer, and price. I visited the designer’s web site to find a local store that sold their line, it listed a shop called “Elizabeth’s Bridal” and I was starting to believe that this dream could become a reality. Just for fun I went back to The Knot and registered myself as a bride. hey gave me a web site to with my friends and family, to keep them updated on my wedding plans and arrangements. This was great fun!

About this time I made a business trip to Charlotte North Carolina, and I had the opportunity to shop a large mall there and entered a “Group USA” Ladies Clothing Store (http:// www.groupusaonline.com/) just as they were ending a Wedding Fashion Show. I had been in this chain’s local store and had been treated well and now that they had a Bridal Shop I knew that a return visit was in order. Shortly after I returned I decided it was time to see some dresses in person.

A few days later I called the local bridal store “Elizabeth’s Bridal” that I found through the Internet and asked about the gown I found on the Net. The woman who answered the phone was friendly and helpful, the dress wasn’t in stock but she could order it. I could pay half down and the rest when it arrived.“ By the way who is the dress for?” I took a deep breath and said, “Me, the dress is for me” a long pause, and the she said, “Okay, but we will have to make an after hours appointment for a fitting, I don’t want to upset my female customers.” “Well, what if I don’t present myself as a man?” I responded. “I guess I’ll have to see you first and then make that judgment, why don’t you come in and be measured and we will see.” That was a challenge that I could not pass up. (No Pun Intended, well maybe a small one). 

Now to visit the “Group USA” store in my local mall. My first trip was in drab, and I hadn’t been in the bridal area of the store 10 seconds when a rather imposing woman with a tape measure around her neck tapped me on the shoulder and asked, Sir, do you need some help. Slightly intimidated I stammered out a weak “just looking”, she introduced herself as Betty, mentioned she was the seamstress and disappeared. I found several gowns like what I had in mind and I decided that I had better find out how all this was going to be received. I hunted down Betty and asked her for some help. At first we talked about alterations, layaways, and timelines, then the dreaded question….”Who is the dress for?” “Me?” “I see” she said and then she smiled “Would you like to try one on now or if you can wait a little while I can put you together with our Wedding Coordinator? Or, if you would feel more comfortable, I can get Roger the Bridal Department Manager. He would be glad to work with you”.I told her that I would have to come back on Friday with my corset and other required items and that I would prefer that she help me. I definitely did not want Roger to help me. We set an appointment and I started breathing again. Friday was two days off and I was excited. 

On the way home I noticed a billboard that I passed each day and never noticed before. It was for “The Bridal Company Outlet” (http://www.bridalco.com/) store in an Outlet Mall 30 miles away. I decided that I would definitely look there as well. I had one other thought and that was to rent a dress. I returned to the Internet where a search of the Yellow Pages located one rental store in my area. That too was added to Friday’s schedule. Elizabeth’s Bridal Shop was closed Fridays so it would have to be postponed one week, but no matter, this Friday’s Agenda was full.

Friday was beautiful and I was excited! My first stop was the outlet store. I wore a conservative blouse and denim mini-skirt, and after a quick stop at a computer store I was on my way to the Outlet Mall. I nervously entered the Bridal Company Outlet Store, hoping to keep a low profile, but the clerk was friendly, she chatted with me a while, always calling Ma’am, or me Miss, so I knew I was passing and even if I wasn’t, the clerk wasn’t uncomfortable. I picked out several dresses and she showed me to a dressing room. “You’ll need a petticoat, Let me bring you one she called out” and moments later she reappeared with a wonderful full petticoat, which I put on and immediately felt like Scarlet O’Hara. I put on the first dress with my back to the mirror and when I turned around it was unbelievable. I was beautiful!I just stood there and stared for minutes. Finally the clerk knocked on the door and asked me if I needed help. I opened the door and stepped out. She smiled and I knew that really did look good. She led me to a huge mirror and pulled another mirror up behind me so I could see the back. I was still stunned, she returned minutes later with several veils and I tried each one selecting one that I really liked, and returned to the dressing room to try on the other dresses. The third dress was my favorite and it was all I could do not to buy it on the spot. I told her that I wanted my Mother and my Maid of Honor to see it before I bought it so she wrote down the information and I was on my way. 

The Group USA clothing store, was my next stop, I considered not going, as I was sure I had found my dress, but I did make the appointment so off I went. It was a fantastic experience! This experience really was “Princess for a Day” and to think I nearly canceled. I entered the mall checked my makeup and appearance in a store window and then headed straight for the wedding gowns. A petite woman, met me at the entrance to the Bridal Shop and immediately offered help,. “I have an appointment with Betty” I smiled and her face instantly lighted up. “Oh you must be Joe”, Hi, I’m Bonita the Bridal Coordinator. We have been expecting you. We have everything ready so just relax and enjoy it. We are going to have a great afternoon!” About this time Betty appeared and she clearly did not recognize me. Bonita re-introduced us and Betty smiled too. Betty then told me “You really look good, I didn’t know it was you”. Bonita told me to pick out some dresses and with Betty’s help I selected four. Then our little entourage walked through a busy Ladies Dressing Room to a private area in the back. Bonita told me that she had screened off the area so I would not feel uncomfortable. I assured her that I had used the dressing rooms in this store several times always at the invitation of the clerks, and I did not feel the least bit uncomfortable here. Betty laid out the gowns and I asked about petticoats, she took off to get me one. I removed my skirt and blouse all the time carrying on a conversation with Bonita while we waited for Betty’s return. Which she soon did with the nicest of all the petticoats I saw during my shopping. As I put on the petticoat Bonita picked out one of the dresses and stood ready to help me.

“Okay dear, press your lips together and pull them in so that you don’t get lipstick on the dress, bend over, and place your arms up and let me drop the gown over your head. Now put your arms through the sleeves, and I’ll zip you up. ”I felt like a cross between a Princess and Scarlet O’Hara and I was definitely in Heaven! Bonita produced several veils and while we were looking at the train Betty decided I need some shoes and went to get several pairs for me to wear. They had me walk up and down the hallway and see how the dress moved while discussing what styles worked for me an which to avoid, we also discussed life in general, and my Transgenderism.I spent the next 2 hours trying on dresses and I narrowed it down to two. Picking a dress would be harder than I thought. Roger came back and chatted with the ladies and me and I had a great time. Not once in the entire experience did I feel pressured or disapproval and they even referred to me as “her” or “she” never as a male. It turned out that I did not buy my dress at this store but I really wanted to just to thank them for the experience. I left there smiling from ear to ear and walking on air.

My final stop for the day was a rental shop. I had found them using the Internet Yellow Pages and it was close to home and I headed straight for it. Only one problem, it wasn’t there. The shop had moved and the current business owner had no idea where. No real setback, I pulled out my trusty cell phone, put on my femme voice and called. “Yes Sir, we’ve moved to…” So much for my femme voice, slightly dented but undaunted I headed for the shop. I walked in and a pleasant woman name Janie looked up from the bridal bouquet she was making and offered to help. “I’m looking for information regarding renting a Wedding Gown” Janie gave me a puzzled look which quickly led to a smile, “Are you the gentleman who just called? ”No illusion here, “Yes” I answered. She and her assistants’ one very pregnant female and a young man in his late teens set about looking for dresses in my size .I must have tried on six or seven gowns, Janie was great and I quickly over came my disappointment about being clocked. Once Janie discovered I wasn’t shy about standing around in my slip and petticoat, she used the situation as an opportunity to educate both of her assistants in the proper methods of trying on and taking off the dresses, as well as what was and was not a good fit. I found a dress I liked and so I inquired about the rental costs. Prices ranged from $175.00 to $250.00, which I thought was a little steep, but Janie assured me that it cost her close to $100.00 to clean each dress after a rental. She also alters each dress so that it fits as close to perfect as possible for a rental. Janie also provided me with the name of a photographer and offered to accompany me to the photo shoot, and even provide a veil and bouquet. This place was not as glamorous as the bridal shops but Janie was certainly helpful and friendly.

As a side note, I called her photographer who was not TG Friendly and only agreed to shoot my portrait if Janie provided the dress and was present for the session. Needless to say I would not be availing myself of his services. 

I still had one place left to visit and after the owners initial challenge I felt compelled to go, so a few days later I was made up, dressed in a pink blouse a gray skirt, I found myself standing in the doorway of Elizabeth’s Bridal. Entering the store I was greeted by a young lady in her early twenties.“Hi, are you Elizabeth?” I asked, “No Ma’am, wait a minute and I’ll get her. ”Elizabeth appeared from the back room, “Hi I’m Elizabeth,” she extended her hand to me, “Hello, I’m Josie”. Welcome Josie, how can I help you?” “You may not remember me but I talked with you on telephone last week concerning special ordering a dress I found on the internet” There was a long pause and you could see the recognition spread across her face followed by a big smile. “Was that you? Well you certainly look good, I would not have…. Well good to see you.” We discussed the dress I was interested in ordering and she showed me the catalogue picture to confirm we were talking about the same gown. Elizabeth requires fifty percent down and the remainder when the dress arrived. Alterations are extra. She measured me for size, which is good because the dress has a large return fee, twenty-five percent, plus return shipping and handling costs. I told her that I thought I had found the dress I wanted, but that the dress I we discussed was my second choice (it was). We talked for a while and then she offered to show me several dresses she had in stock. She had one that I liked and she offered to let me try it on.“ Are you sure?” I asked, “Will it be a problem?” Elizabeth just smiled and showed me to dressing room. She helped me into the dress, and invited me out into the main showroom to view it in the big mirror. We also tried on several veils. During this time several customers came and went and no one did more than admire the gown. The dress really wasn’t me but I did promise to come back and order the dress if my first choice fell through. It was a good time and Elizabeth treated me well. All in all I was glad I visited her shop.

At this point I had completed my shopping, weighed my options and made my decision. The Outlet Store Dress was just over $150.00, the special order dress was $210.00, Group USA’s dress was $550.00 and a rental was going to be $200.00.I would still need to purchase shoes, gloves, a bouquet and a veil. These expenses even on the cheap were going to exceed $150.00, so I opted for the Outlet Store Dress. Now to purchase it, first I called to place the dress on hold, knowing that my femme voice was not working over the phone I decided to call the store posing as the Groom.”Hello, my Fiancée was in your store last week and she found a dress she wanted, only she wanted to wait until her Mother and Maid of Honor could accompany her to purchase it.It now turns out that this won’t be possible and she will have to pick up the dress alone. She is a little upset and asked me to call and ensure it is still in stock. Its stock number 02-001-8936-001-18 size (withheld to protect the guilty). You have it? Wonderful! Can you please hold it until tomorrow? Her name is Josie Sydney.Oh by the way; since her Mom is going to be unable to see the dress, if she brings a camera can she get a picture of her in the gown after she purchases it? Yes! Great.Thank-you Goodbye.” Okay, the dress is there and waiting now to go get it.

The next day was cold and I dressed in a lavender sweater and black skirt, climbed into my car and headed for the Outlet Mall. When I arrived I looked for the same clerk but she was nowhere to be found, so I went to the counter and inquired about the dress. It was waiting there and they offered to let me try it on, of course I accepted. I asked a clerk if she would mind taking some pictures of the dress and of me dressing to tell the story of my adventure and she agreed. The store was busy but not crowded and there were several other “Brides to Be” trying on dresses. There was a great deal of excitement in the air and I actually felt that I was one of them, I even received several compliments on the dress. A short time later I completed purchasing my dress and floated out to my car, my treasure in hand, mentally selecting the poses for my photo. 

A couple of notes: 

Ask before bringing a camera into the shops. Several places told me that I could not take pictures of the gowns until after I paid for them. It seems that some ladies have used the pictures to have a gown made for them and monopolized several hours of the store clerk’s time with no intention of purchasing a gown.

Wedding Gowns run several sizes smaller, particularly those with fitted waists. I am normally a size… Well let’s just say I required a gown three sizes larger than my dress size. A few gowns I tried on were two sizes larger but most were three.

Other places to look for gowns include Consignment and Second Hand Stores; these places generally have a very limited selection. I did not use them because I wanted the experience as much as the dress. I did not feel I would get it in those places. I also did not try the Department Stores although some of them do have Bridal Departments. I can’t provide a good reason why, it just didn’t feel right.

Weekdays are probably the best times to shop for gowns, as the stores are less busy and more willing to help you.

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