Passing is extremely overrated.  Almost all of us are Abe Lincoln cross dressers - we can fool all of the people only some of the time, or some of the people all of the time, but we can’t fool all of the people all of the time!

There was a time when getting read would ruin my day every time it happened.  I would get so flustered that I would lose whatever confidence I had and run back home or to my hotel room.

This all changed for me when I went out on vacation for a week.  I had just been to a TG convention and had bought a new wig.  My confidence was just soaring, and I thought that getting read had become a thing of the past.

Was I ever wrong!  I got read several times the first time I went out to a mall and it it shook me big time.  I did a bit of introspection and decided that I could do one of three things:

1. Continue going out, and continue to let getting read ruin my fun.

2. Stop going out enfemme.

3. Continue going out, but get used to the idea that getting read is a fact of life - not the end of life!

I chose door number three!  I then decided to make my time out as positive as possible.  I decided to give everyone I had contact with a great big smile and a ‘have a nice day,’ in words and in attitude.

I then went out enfemme, just two days after the aforementioned disaster of getting read.  I wound up having the time of my life.  I made eye contact with people and gave them big smiles.  They responded with smiles and, almost every time, a warm, friendly attitude.  It was a huge breakthrough, and yet the only thing I had changed was my own attitude.  In retrospect, that was all I *could* do; the only person I actually can change is me!

This is not to say that you should not try to pass, as this can be a bit dangerous.  There will always be some idiots out there that will make trouble for you if they read you.  Being able to pass is your first line of defense.  For me, pepper spray is the second, but fortunately I have never even come close to using it.

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