A while back, when visiting other personal homepages on the Internet, homepages belonging to transsexuals, the first thing I would see on a few of them was a warning of sorts. Basically it said, "DO NOT TRANSITION! IT IS HELL! UNLESS YOU ARE ONE HUNDRED CADJILLION THOUSAND PERCENT SURE YOU HAVE TO DO THIS.... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!" I would envision skulls and crossbones. "WHOA!" I would think to myself. How in the heck can you call transitioning Hell?! I mean, here I am, finally discovering myself, finally accepting myself and now you have the nerve to talk down to me like this? You have the nerve to tell me that I shouldn't have it? You have the whatever to tell me that you got yours and now I am the one who has to stop and think, "Do I really want mine?!" Yeah, right. How convenient for you. How can you say that what I need to do is such a terrible horrible thing? Well, it took me a while, but now I know why they wrote this. They are protecting me from myself. Reading their "high and mighty holier then thou" warnings made me angry enough to at least stop and think about what I was doing/wanted to do. Now I know, that is their intent, to make me think, to make all of us think, and to grow. However, I would not dream of having this kind of "cruel", "insensitive", "elitist" and "slap to your face" writings on my website, unless I really saw a need for it... Well guess what.... Scroll Down

I have not even hit the truly rough spots in this transition thing, but I have had my fair share of "difficulties" and I know that rougher times are in my future. Now, my turn. If you are thinking of transitioning, you had better think it through like you have never ever thought anything else through in your life!

Everybody is against you doing this! You are going to be alone! I don't care what kind of a support system you have, friends, family, therapists.... YOU ARE ALONE WITH THIS! Your support system can hold you and tell you it's gonna be alright, but they are not gonna do it 24 hours a day!! They have their own problems. And believe me, you are gonna eat, sleep and breathe transition 48 hours a day!! So you had better be prepared to be alone with yourself, a lot.

I can't write about regrets because (knock on wood) I have not had any yet. But I have heard stories and met a few people who transitioned and then WENT BACK BECAUSE IT WAS NOT RIGHT FOR THEM AND THEY ARE NOW PRETTY DARN UNHAPPY! Some of their regrets? They will never ever be able to have children. They will never have sex again because Mr. Ugly is a dangly piece of not good for anything limp meat. They might have to have mastectomies to remove their once wanted (they thought) breasts. The FTM's will have to have electrolysis to remove all of the hair that the hormones have given them. Some thought they wanted the genitalia of the opposite gender, so they had SRS and now they are miserable. So, if you want to transition so you can fill out that little red party dress, or you just plain relish masturbating to the thought of your very own girlish panty clad image in the mirror, better think again. You should know that after starting some of the transition process, there is a good possibility that you will never even get it up again, at least, after a time. If I am telling you something you did not know, it is a good thing you are reading this and you had better do some homework.

Transition, as far as I am able to take it is my destiny... I will transition or I will die, or I will live a fate worse then death. I have no choice. Maybe it seems strange after you read what I have written here to hear me say, that for myself I would not have it any other way. It is the one thing in my life that has made me feel "right". Will it make you feel right? You had better be sure.

You see all those pretty transsexuals out there. You wannabe one, tomorrow. Well, ferget it, it ain't gonna happen tomorrow, if ever. Those girls have gone through so much pain, mental and physical to get where they are. Some of them have sacrificed more then you or I can even imagine to be where they are.

Your full transition could possibly take quite a while due to many things, among them, finances. Do you know how not fun it is to be stuck in the middle?? Do you know how much it sucks to have everybody you come into contact with on a day to day basis trying to figure out just what in the hell you are??

Chances are the ideas, the thoughts or suggestions that you RESIST the most are likely the ones you need to HEAR the most.

Therapy with a qualified gender therapist. If you don't like the first one you are with, get another, but don't ditch them because they are not telling you, "Oh yeah sister, you are transsexual. Here are your letters!" They are not there to tell you who and what you are. They are there to guide you safely on the path that you choose for yourself.

Therapy is a MUST. Be honest and work hard and what you need will come your way. If all you want are hormones and breasts, then go ahead and lie to your therapist and yourself. You won't be the first. But you are not doin yourself any favors. You will be sorry in the long run. If you just want to skip therapy, if you just want to be a girl tomorrow, YOU ARE DREAMING.

If you think you don't have to fight for every little bit of what you need, if you want any part of the transition process handed to you on a silver platter, if you want somebody to hold your hand and take you through transitionland, if you are not ready to lose as much as you gain, you have no idea what you are in for.

I have personally talked to some people that want to transition and say they are totally ready. However, in my humble opinion, if you are not prepared to tell your general practitioner or any health care professional that you are on hormone replacement therapy, if you are worried about having too feminine of an appearance while in drab mode, if you cannot say the words penis and vagina without turning beet red, if you are trying to time the growth of your breasts with your "coming out schedule", if you are way concerned with your electrolysis progress being too obvious to those around you (workplace, football buddies etc.), if you are afraid to wear the underclothing of your choice because of that possible car accident and exposure to emergency personnel...... and dare I even say it?! If you have not been out of your house even one time presenting as female,

you are not ready to transition.
And this stuff is TOTALLY trivial in the big transition picture.

Oh, and if you feel you need to tailor the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care to suit your needs or schedule, if you want to change the definition of words like "transsexual", "transition" or "full time" to fit what you personally are doing, if you cannot follow the program, then you are not ready to transition. You are ready for bars and mall hopping and girly games, but you are not ready for real life.

For instance, "full time" means one thing: FULL TIME ALL THE TIME, TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. Not full time with a little PART TIME thrown in because somebody in your life does not like you in your mini-skirt and blue eyeshadow.

If I ever personally hear you put down on women in general or use derogatory terms when discussing anything about them (us), I feel that not only are you not ready to transition, but I don't really even want to know you.

I will end this by giving thanks once again to those
that have gone before me and have
helped me to learn along the way.

Thank you..

 

 

 

 

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