My name is Trish-Marie. Trish-Marie is my legal name. I was born in January of 19LongAgo. I am an alcoholic with a clean date of 6/6/96. I am divorced from a marriage of that began in 1984 and ended 4 days before our anniversary in 2002. We have one son, born in 1987. I started my coming out process in October of 1999. I am lucky to have received full support from friends and family. I have been in therapy with a gender specialist since January of 2000. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy on June 16th, 2000. I started electrolysis for my face and neck on Friday June 23rd, 2000. I had vaginoplasty (reassignment surgery) performed by Dr. Toby Meltzer on January 29th, 2004. Yes, I completed the required dreaded genital electrolysis before surgery. I was not a "crossdresser". I was not a "transvestite". I was "transsexual". Among other things, I was not happy physically male. I wished to be physically female. I am employed in a mainstream position (knock on wood). My favorite colors are pink and black. I like cute things, pretty things. I am sometimes looked down upon for liking cute and pretty things. I despise businesses that sell cheap clothes at outrageous prices or $3 lipsticks for $12 to girls that are afraid of being "discovered" and feel vulnerable. Price gouging at it's worst. I love little boxes. I love little boxes. Little treasure boxes. I have a fetish for chocolate coins, bullets, jewelry boxes, cosmetic bags, key chains and purses, all kinds of purses. If I had money, it would spiral out of control.

One of the most awful things ever said to me was that I am mocking women. That hurts. If I have to explain, you won't get it. I have a passion for flowers. Nobody has ever given me flowers. CLICK - I collect Barbies© and (stuffed) animals, not expensive ones. I used to go a little overboard with trying to be too nice and cutesy, but now I am jaded.. I curse, and too much. I keep trying to stop. I love Cher and Madonna, just because they are them. Beethoven's 7th Symphony does it for me, as does Sarah McLachlan's Building a Mystery and Take My Hand from the Dune movie soundtrack. Enya feels like home. My favorite man on the face of the earth is and always will be Clint Eastwood, rivaled only by David Bowie. Johnny Depp is my fantasy husband. I love all things John. I am very politically conservative. I believe strongly in the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, and I do. I have attended a few transgender conventions. I attended Tri-Ess meetings and transsexual support groups when I was able. I am thankful for the friends I have made both in real time and on the net. Without them, this would be a very lonely process. I do not really care for the expression, "Good luck". It always sounds like, "Cause man, are you gonna need it. Yer on yer own, babe." That scares me. When I was 9 years old, my dad and suitcase walked past me and out the door leaving my mom and I to pretty much fend for ourselves.

From the time I was very young I have always wanted a big sister. I used to wish Gidget was my big sister, the Sally Fields Gidget. I have always been jealous of women's bodies. For most of my life, I thought I wanted to be with a woman's body. Turns out, I want to be a woman's body. If that makes no sense to you, that is okay. It makes sense to me. I started questioning my body at about the age of 12 or 13 with not much thought beyond "I don't like it much" because as far as I knew nothing could be done, and such thoughts are sick anyway. I began wearing women's clothing at about the age of 15. I thought that was sick too. It took a long time, but I finally realized that I am not sick. I am female, whether I look like it or not. Self acceptance is a wonderful thing. If you don't have any, I suggest you go out and get some right away. I don't like the term "dressing". It sounds like a fetish. I don't "dress". In the picture to the left I am not hiding a cigarette, because I quit smoking on September 27th, 2003. The primary incentive for quitting being my reassignment surgery in January of 2004. Bugs freak me out... and if there are more then one of them together, it totally freaks me out. In 1974, I pierced my left ear. I have had both ears pierced since 1985. I have two holes in each. My favorite perfume is Obsession®, but I find myself using tons of my other favorite, Bath and Body Works® Warm Vanilla Sugar®. WVS is less expensive and darn yummy. UPDATE: My newest favorite is B&BW's Noel Vanilla Bean®. Oh man, using that stuff is like being a pancake covered in syrup. BUT, it only comes out at Christmas, so I stocked up. I am a hand/body lotion addict in general. Some say I am obsessed. I love movie theaters, especially drive-ins. There is just something magic about them. I don't get to go to them very often. Oh yeah, and I am a major popcorn freak.

In 1988, I had a dog tag made at a local gun show. It said, "One day at a time". I put this on my keychain and anytime I felt the need for Trish-Marie to come out, I would read it. Just don't let her out for one more day and all will be well. I look back on this as a real sad thing. I purged myself of women's clothing only once (that I can remember), when I was 18 or 19. I love the theatre and have attended many stage productions. I have never been to the ballet. It is my dream to start attending theatre once again and be taken to the ballet. I love glamour. I love all things romantic. I love to shop. I love girlie stuff. BUT, I totally don't like shopping for clothes. I suppose it is because nothing fits me. I am terrible with my hair. I haven't a clue. I have now learned to get my whites to stay white. I need to learn how to iron. I am not saying I will, I just need to. Madonna is on the left and Cher is on the right. So far, Madonna is a little bigger. I love anything strawberry or vanilla. Strawberry stuff is sometimes difficult to find. My favorite foods are Mexican, Italian (PIZZA!) and Thai (Thanks Denice!). I love Disneyland and wish to start going again... annually. I am a night person. I love the night. I need the night. Warm summer evenings, after a shower and after the sun goes down makes me feel alive. Wind scares me, a lot. A lot of people do not understand me. A lot of times it is because I do not communicate well. Mostly though, it is just because I am strange. People tend to tire of me after a time. If there is ever a book written about my life it will say, "She was pessimistic and she was always the last one out of the bathroom." There will never be a book written about my life.

I thought that I would make a wonderful personal chauffeur for the right person. Traditional, professional and proper. Nobody else did.. Starting in 1999 I took approximately two years to purge myself of all friends that knew the drab me. I didn't have too many. Some may have accepted me, I don't know. I just know I didn't need any of them questioning my decision to make my life changes. That was not an easy thing to do, but it seemed the only way.( Update: I did not give my friends enough credit, they are still my friends.) I learned most all my makeup on my own. Be kind. I still have a lot to learn. I detest breast forms and will not wear them. Hopefully I will never feel the need to. Trish being out in the world never embarrassed me like I for years thought it would. The fact that I hid myself for years does embarrass me. I used to think the only way I was ever going to get a chance to be myself around other people was with a prostitute and I came very close to doing just that. Growing up near Hollywood will do that to you. I spoke with one or two on the phone but never followed through with it thank goodness. That was years and years ago. I worked Sunday nights for 17 years. This was by design. I was easily depressed on Sunday nights for some reason. This is fortunately no longer the case. I think that human touch makes the world go round. One day hopefully in the not too distant future this website will cease to exist, or at least cease to exist as a "transsexual" website. I want to get on with life and it won't help me to have it here. And perhaps the biggest reason being, I don't wish to live as "transsexual" the rest of my life. A lot of what you have just read here is really inconsequential now that I have transitioned and am for the most part living life. It's water under the bridge and am I ever happy about that. But there are people out there that might need to know about others who have gone through what they are experiencing, so it stays. I want to be buried someplace along Main Street in Disneyland.

Music Frank Sinatra - Madonna - David Bowie - Merle Haggard - Alice Cooper - Hugo Montenegro - Enya - Jimi Hendrix - Doug Stillwell - Donovan - Leonard Cohen - Pasty Cline - Lalo Shiffren - Sting - Rammstein - Randy Travis - Nigel Olsen - Dwight Yokam - The Carpenters - ABBA - Pantera - Adam Ant - Duran Duran - The Highwaymen - Metalica - AC/DC - Eminem - Missing Persons - Laurie Anderson - Art of Noise - The Doors - Tower of Power - Nirvana - Tom Petty - Santana - The Turtles - Buddy Rich - The Ramones - Roxy Music - Blood Sweat & Tears - The Go Go's - Sarah McLachlan - Favorite Shops Ross - Mervyns - Best Buy - Frys - Hot Topic - Radio Shack - FYE - Hollywood Video - Pet Stores with puppies - Bath and Body Works - Coach - Payless Shoes - Any firearms and knife store - Any store with leather for firearms - Ann Taylor - The Disney Store - Suncoast Video - American Greetings - Hallmark - Barnes and Noble - Brighton - Spencers - Liz Claiborne - Pet Peeves No hooks in restroom stalls - Leprechaun beards on guys - Basketball and anything related to it - TG "support" boards - Toilet humor - Ex-Smokers - Cowboy hats are NOT pink - "A lot" is two words - Pineapple Pizza??? - The "sex" in trans~sex~ual - Janeane Garofalo - Parents Letting Kids Run Wild - Being forced to ruin brand new DVD covers because of a$$hole theft protection stickers - Lame-ass drivers - Paul "Page Two" Harvey -

Actors/Actresses/People Clint Eastwood - Johnny Depp (my husband) - Walt Disney - Ewan McGregor - Juliette Lewis - Tom Verica - Lance Henrickson - Audrey Hepburn - John Wayne - Patrica Heaton - Brad Dourif - Edward Norton - Claire Danes - The Carradine Brothers - Quentin Tarantino - Kevin Bacon - Jodie Foster - Eric Roberts - Rhea Seehorn - Robert Duval - Nicholas Cage - Tim Allen - Leonardo DiCaprio - The Arquettes - Jeff Bridges - Brian De Palma - Patricia Arquette - William Katt - Terry Farrell - Tony Blair - Debra Winger - Jimmy Stewart - Robert Downey Jr. - Ted Levine - Sharon Stone - David Lynch - John Travolta - Claudette Colbert - Tim Curry - Emily Procter - Owen Wilson - Jill Schoelen - Gaby of  'Metamorphosis: Man into Woman' - Christopher Walken - Stephanie March - Kurt Russell - Rush Limbaugh - Steve Buscemi - John Malkovich - Kate Moss - Stephen Geoffreys - Clark Gable - Dennis Hopper - Victor Rivers - Bruce Willis - Cher - Television American Dreams (NBC sucks d.d. for canceling it) - Two and a Half Men - Desperate Housewives - The New Adventures of Old Christine - Who's Line Is It Anyway - McMillan and Wife - Boy Meets World - Cold Case Files - The Simpsons - Boston Legal - Bonanza - Law and Order: All of them. - CSI: All of them (with closed eyes at times). - Nickelodeon Channel - Disney Channel - The Discovery Channel - The Learning Channel - A&E Channel - Home Improvement - Becker (Trish IS Becker) - The Brady Bunch - Leave It To Beaver - Greatest American Hero - The Man Show: Girls On Trampolines - America's Most Wanted: Bless John Walsh and Family - Stage Maybe someday - Ballet Maybe someday -

Movies Apocalypse Now - Tombstone - Once Upon A Time In The West - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly - A Fistful of Dollars - For a Few Dollars More - Dirty Harry (all of them) - Irreversible - Grindhouse - Silverado - Foxes - The Quick and the Dead - Pirates of the Caribbean (all of them) - Lost Highway - Blue Velvet - Halloween (all of them) - House of 1000 Corpses - The Devil's Rejects - Cloverfield - The Butterfly Effect - Kill Bill: Vols 1 & 2 - Night of the Comet - 976-EVIL - Friday the 13th (all of them) - Midnight Cowboy - Peter Pan (Jeremy Sumpter) - Satan's Little Helper - Close Encounters of the Third Kind - The Long Riders - The Shootist - Death of a Salesman - American Gigolo - Mi Vida Loca - Napoleon Dynamite (I love this movie) - Scream (all of them)- Natural Born Killers - Nightmare on Elm Street (all of them) - The Fifth Element - Final Destination series - Lonesome Dove - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Old and remake) - Blood In, Blood Out: Bound By Honor - Lethal Weapon (all of them) - Bonnie and Clyde - In Cold Blood - Bullitt - Night of the Living Dead (all of them) - The Terminator (all of them) - Psycho - Phantasm (all of them)- Open Range - Candyman - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - Barry Lyndon - Pulp Fiction - Killer Klowns from Outer Space - Candy/Snacks Diet Coke® - Popcorn! Popcorn! Popcorn! - Jelly Beans - Hershey's® Chocolate - Taco chips and hot HOT HOT sauce - Soft vanilla ice cream with whipped cream - Snickers - Boobs - Misc. Stuff I Like William Beckett - My DVD player - My portable DVD player - My DVD movie collection - Disneyland! - Almost anything Disney - All things pirate - Cowboys - Bedrooms - Halloween - The first 60 seconds of a hot shower or bath - Suburbia of the 50's and 60's - Christmas spirit - Law enforcement badges of the Old West - Hats, especially cowboy hats - The expressions "pony up" and "saber rattling" - Larry & Irwin (Sit & Sleep radio commercials) - Route 66 - Ziploc bags (any brand) - My wet/dry Dust Buster® -

Thank you, Tash.. :)